Rule Number One: Always Stay Close To God . . . .
I have found a good rule of thumb in any task I undertake is to always STAY CLOSE TO GOD! As I say, this is good advice, first and foremost, for anything we do in life. So many people in our world today do just the opposite. They leave God out of everything they do. In other words, people today . . . . in general, of course, . . . . seem to go about their merry way with no thought of God at all in their daily routine. They don't pray . . . they don't go to church . . . they don't read Scripture . . . . It would seem the only time that most people in our society today ever think about contacting God is when they get into some trouble that they can not get themselves out of. God becomes a "last resort," as it were. We should never allow God to become a "last resort" in our life. And this is true whether we are talking about ourselves as individuals or as a family. Always make God a priority in your life and in the life of your family. "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deuteronomy 6:7) Children learn best, it seems to me, through example. And if the way you live your life matches up with what you instruct them, the child will understand better. Always stay close to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. And let your children know just how important this is. Let your children know how important this is not only by the words you speak to them, but also (more importantly!) by the way you live.
Rule Number Two: The Importance Of Prayer . . . .
Communication is key to any relationship. Whether we are talking about the relationship between a husband and wife or an employee-employer relationship, for that matter, good communication is the key. Thus, communication between ourselves and God is of utmost importance as well. On this I am sure we will agree. Communication with God is what we call "prayer." Let your children know how important prayer is . . . and should be . . . in their life. "Then Jesus told His disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up." (St. Luke 18:1) Teach your children to always go to God in prayer. Let them know that God is always ready to hear our prayers. Communal prayers done in unison can form a good foundation for more personal, individual prayer later on. For example, children should be taught early on prayers such as the "Our Father" and the "Hail Mary" and the "Glory Be." Children should be taught the Rosary so that not only can they pray it on their own but families can also pray the Rosary together in unison. Let your children know early on that prayer is a powerful weapon. A former bishop of mine was keen to often say: "Play dirty and pray . . . " In other words, his meaning was that prayer is a powerful weapon that most people do not utilize. When we pray, we are in the presence of the Almighty. Let your children know how important this is. Good communication is the key to any good relationship. And prayer is our communication with the Almighty. Encourage your children to communicate daily with God: whether it be saying grace before meals; praying the Rosary either alone or as a family; or just sitting in the presence of God reflecting after reading Scripture or in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament in Church.
Rule Number Three: Going To Church As A Family . . . .
When I was growing up, going to church on Sundays was very important. In other words, it was just something that you did on Sundays: you went to church as a family. I know I was brought up that way and raised that way. To this day, Sunday doesn't seem like Sunday unless I go to church. Unfortunately, so many people do not feel this way any longer. Why? Because it was not taught to them. The importance of going to church . . . either as a family or as individuals . . . . is not taught . . . . it is not emphasized . . . . and it is not explained. Thus, children do not understand the importance of going to church on a regular basis. We will not do something if it is not important for us. In order for children to understand, it has to be explained why it is important to go to church. As with most things, always keep in mind, teaching usually comes in two "formats:" 1) Explaining verbally; 2) Teaching by Example. Keeping this in mind, it doesn't matter how good you "explain" to your children the value of something if you don't do it in practice. Will children truly appreciate the value of weekly church attendance when they don't see their parents attending church on a regular basis? This seems pretty obvious but how many families do just this? They try to explain the importance of doing something . . . . for example, going to church . . . . but they never actually do it in practice. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. If they do not see their parents putting into practice what they "preach," the children more than likely will not put it into practice to begin with. "Train up a child in the way he should go; Even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)
Rule Number Four: Be A Strong Role Model In The Faith . . . .
After reading through these various "rules" so far, I hope that you have been able to see a "constant theme" through each rule: to lead by example. This is something that needs to be emphasized time and time again, in my humble opinion. As stated above, children will not practice what they have not been taught. And whether we like it or not, children learn mostly by what they see being done. St. Paul writes: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction in the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) We teach by instruction, yes, but the best "instruction" comes first by example. As parents, we need to allow our children to see how we actually lead our life . . . . how we live our life . . . . if children "see" that we do our best to live good, Christian lives, they will be more willing to "listen" to why we do it. Children, , . . . and adults, for that matter . . . . will not listen to someone who "talks the talk" but doesn't "walk the walk." As a parent, if you tell your child how important it is to go to church, for example, but that child never sees you never attend church yourself, the child will see that your words are hollow and you don't even follow your own advice, . . . so why should they? We parents need to instruct, yes, but first and foremost we need to "instruct" through our own actions. We need to "instruct" first by the way in which we lead our own life, by the way we live our own life.
Certainly, these four points as discussed above are meant to be "general rules." Once these "general rules" are set in place, other practices will fall into place. For example: Advent wreath at home; catechism lessons at home; as mentioned earlier, Rosary recited as a family; having a Sacred Heart or Blessed Mother statue in the home; etc. The world will do everything in its' power to go against God and the Church. "These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (St. John 16:33) Everything we can do as parents to let our children know about God will help to strengthen the child once they go "out into the world." Give the child the "tools" he/she will need to be strong in the faith and always stay close to God.
